Can you believe I'm once again revisiting my goals for the season??? My last goals post is currently one of my most popular posts ever and I'm so so so thankful because I always put a little extra effort into these posts (read my previous seasonal goals here and here). I've been thinking whether I should carry on doing these posts or stop them completely, and I'm still unsure, but I wanted to revisited my winter goals anyway to see how I got on. I haven't checked the goals I'd set for myself in quite a while but I know before even looking at them that I've done really, really awful. Onward and upwards though, right?
If you've read these posts before you'll know the layout. I usually discuss my goals I'd set previously, see where I'm at and whether or not I feel as though I've accomplished them and then I set new goals (which I won't be doing in this post, but maybe at a later stage). Looking at the goals I'd set I feel really let down because I didn't do anything I'd hoped I'd do but I pride myself on being open and honest with my readers so here we go.
Goal #1: Take part in Blogmas:So this definitely didn't go as planned. I wrote a grand total of six Blogmas posts and then gave up. I was very busy around Christmas with different things and I wasn't feeling up to blogging at all. I discussed all this in a blog post after Christmas about the pressures of blogging and after writing that I realised how much I missed blogging. Since then I've been more involved and more excited about my blog again.
Goal #2: Talk more openly about my problems:
In my winter goals post I talk about how I too often take on other people's problems as well as having to cope with my own personal struggles. I find it difficult to talk openly about my mental illness in person to my friends and family, and often pass it off as a joke but in reality it's not as easy as I make it out to be. Over the past few months I have opened up a little bit more to my sister, Dearbhla (@dearbhlagalla), my mam, Laura and, of course, my counselor but I'm still working on feeling comfortable with most people.
Goal #3: PASS my Christmas exams:
I was hoping to at least pass my exams at Christmas but I actually ended up not even sitting them. I decided I had to defer my exams until the summer as I was so unprepared and would've 100% failed them without a doubt. I said the New Year would be my chance to try again and that I would do better this semester but I don't know if that's going to happen and I've started to rethink a lot of things, but we'll see.
Goal #4: Focus on myself:I talked about how I had been worrying and thinking too much about what my father has done in my last post and as a result I haven't allowed myself to feel okay about it. I've tried forgiving him but at the moment I'm too hurt to do that so over the festive period I did my best to not think about him. I briefly saw him on Christmas Eve, which stirred up a lot of anger, guilt and sadness but for the moment I'm happy just being selfish and looking after myself.
Goal #5: Work towards a mentally healthier me:
I was really worried when writing my last goals post because I was coming near the end of my sessions with my current counselor. In the end she applied for an extension for me so I am still working with her. At the moment my mental health is in a very awful place which I may touch on in an upcoming post. I have a lot on my mind and many things to think about. I feel slightly in limbo at the moment in my life and I don't know what's going to happen, but my counselor is so good so I'm hoping we can continue to work on my mental health together.
If you enjoyed this post, why not check out my other similar posts: Selfishness & Mental Illness and My OCD & Me
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